Your partner has cheated once but does that mean he or she is going to keep cheating? Science seems to suggest the answer is YES!

This is not necessarily good news if you have a cheating partner, and remember there are always people who do and can change, but the results of the ‘cheating test’ are in. And they are not good. Studies show that if your partner has cheated, sorry, but chances are they are going to cheat again. Cheating is a learned behavior and unless it is stopped in time, it becomes a pattern.

Neuroscience teaches us that brains repeat the behavior. If you constantly go to the kitchen cupboard to look for chocolate, unless you train your brain not to, you will do it again and again. And if you tell a lie, you are likely to do it again. It’s a slippery slope and while you CAN change your behavior, it is not always that easy.

Should you, therefore, be very wary of a partner who has cheated before, either on you or a previous partner? It depends. If this person has acknowledged they made a mistake and has agreed to get help, possibly they can change. But they do need to want to change. And they do need to get help. Not just once but possibly long-term counseling.

Studies done by Neuroscientists in England show that when people are lying, they become desensitized to it. This means each time they lie they feel less guilty until they don't feel any guilt at all. Interestingly though, it’s not only about the person who is lying. If you are being lied to, and you constantly accept it, chances are you are going to be lied to over and over again.

What does this mean? It means we all need to look at our behavior. If you are doing something wrong, like cheating, stop repeating the pattern. Get help to change the way you have programmed your brain and body. And if you think you may be complicit, co-dependant with the person who is cheating, get help too.